Why French Girls Aren't Afraid of Getting Fat

Today marks one month in Westhouse. It feels pretty surreal. I suppose it's because I’m not on vacation anymore. I’m just living here now, and in its own way, it’s nice.

If one thing is for sure, when you move to a foreign country, the learning curve is steep. Really really steep. And so I compiled a list:

Six Things I Learned After Spending a Month in France--

• Dessert is only ever meant to be eaten with a spoon (and eating it with a fork is sacrilege, but they’ll forgive you mostly because you have a funny American accent).
• On the whole, the French are not crazy about color. If you decide to wear your favorite bright yellow sweater to school, you will stick out like a sore American thumb and your friends will definitely offer to take you shopping. Probably for something grey or black.
• Wearing the same outfit for a few days in a row is totally socially acceptable (and probably more eco-friendly). Honestly, when you roll out of bed at 6 AM, who wants to put in effort to pick out something new?
• If you are Californian and you move to Alsace, a mild version of Seasonal Affective Disorder will likely take hold. Combined with some homesickness, that can make for a pretty bad day.
• Chocolate (particularly French chocolate) and exercise can pretty much fix any problem, whether it’s SAD or homesickness.
• Food is an experience, not just calories.

In relation to that last bullet point: French girls aren't afraid of getting fat. As vain and superficial as it sounds, gaining weight is probably one of my biggest fears. This worry isn’t that uncommon in the USA; according to the National Association of Anorexia and Associated Disorders, 42% of 1st-3rd grade girls wish they were thinner and 81% percent of 10 year-olds are afraid of being fat. It's a pretty standard fear in America. So naturally, it surprised me to see French women eating whatever they want. I haven’t heard a single women mention being on a diet or trying to lose weight, and strangely, it’s almost freeing. (Disclaimer: There is, of course, a pressure in France to be thin. I don't mean to devalidate the issue of eating disorders among French youth, however there is a mentality difference within the culture itself.)

Since my arrival in France, I’ve been eating a lot. And I mean, a lot. Pastries, chocolate, cream, butter, pretty much without thinking about it. I was pretty shocked when I stepped on the scale yesterday, and found out that I’ve lost weight. How did that happen? Maybe my brain just burns more calories speaking French. Okay, probably not. I don’t actually know how, but I can say that my lifestyle, as far as food is concerned, is a lot different here.

There’s this really excellent poem called “Shrinking Women” by Lily Myers (you can check it out here) in which she talks about the pressures of femininity. In one of my favorite quotes from it, she’s having a conversation with her brother:

“‘How could anyone have a relationship to food?’ he asks, laughing, as I eat the black bean soup I chose for its lack of carbs.”

And there lies the huge difference between my relationship with food in the US and my relationship with food here in France. In America, we view food as something that nourishes the body. We eat whenever we’re hungry; we talk about superfoods and antioxidants, about eating six smaller meals instead of three large ones, about obesity and eating disorders. Food is something that, particularly for women, is very controlled. We count our carbs and calories and percentages of trans fat. That isn’t an inherently bad thing--if anything, it’s proof that we care about what we put in our bodies. However, it can breed almost a stigma around food, an idea that if we don’t know at all times what we’re eating, that somehow this tower of cards will come crashing down.

In France, people almost never use the word “nourriture,” or “food.” They talk about meals, about experiences, about specific dishes. There isn’t a sense of shame about finishing your plate. Unlike in the States, snacking between meals is definitely frowned upon. You’re expected to eat well at each meal and not in between. It’s really difficult to grow vegetables in Alsace, so all traditional recipes are usually types of pasta or bread, potato dishes, and cream sauces to serve with red meat. People don’t seem to be preoccupied with their impending heart disease, though. They don’t eat for health; they eat for happiness.